According to the method of resolution, conflicts are divided into productive (constructive) and unproductive (destructive).
Destructive conflicts- these are conflicts in which interpersonal connections are destroyed, work efficiency sharply decreases, and solving the problem becomes impossible.
Constructive conflicts do not go beyond the scope of business relationships and involve five behavioral strategies: competition, cooperation, compromise, accommodation and avoidance.
1.Rivalry- this is an open “struggle” for one’s interests. This strategy is used when a person has a strong will, power and sufficient authority. However, competition rarely produces long-term results; That, Who If you lose today, you may refuse to cooperate later. Therefore this strategy cannot be used V personal, close relationships.
2. Cooperation is a search for a solution that satisfies the interests of both parties. This strategy leads to success in business and personal life, since in the process of resolving conflict there is a desire to meet the needs of everyone. Experts recommend starting this strategy with phrases like: “I want a fair outcome for both of us,” “Let’s see what we can do to get what we both want,” etc.
It has been proven that when both sides win, they are more likely to implement their decisions. Cooperation presupposes the ability (desire) to restrain one’s emotions, explain one’s decisions (reason for demands) and listen to the other side. Through collaboration, joint work experience is acquired and listening skills are developed.
3. Compromise- is the settlement of disagreements through mutual concessions. This strategy is effective when both parties want the same thing, but know for sure that at the same time their desires are impossible to fulfill (for example: the desire to occupy one And the same position).
As a rule, a compromise allows you to gain at least something rather than lose everything, and makes it possible to develop a temporary solution if there is no time to develop another.
4. Avoidance- this is the desire to get out of the conflict without resolving it, without insisting on one’s own, but without giving in one’s own. This strategy is recommended to be used V cases when one of the parties feels that it is wrong, or believes that there are no serious grounds for continuing contacts. Moreover, leaving or delaying suggests that during this time the situation can resolve itself or you can deal with it when you have sufficient information or the desire to resolve it.
5. Device represents a tendency to smooth out contradictions by sacrificing one’s interests. If the other person’s need turns out to be more important than yours, and the feelings are stronger, then this strategy is the only one for resolving the conflict.
An accommodation strategy may be used if:
You are not particularly concerned about what happened, and the subject of disagreement is not important to you;
You realize that the truth is on your side;
You feel that your chances of winning are minimal;
It is clear that no single strategy for behavior in a productive conflict can be considered the best, so it is important to learn how to effectively use each of them, taking into account the circumstances and situation.
Self-test questions
1. Reveal the essence of each behavior strategy in productive conflict.
2. What strategy is typical for you?
The most powerful obstacle to this is the ineffective behavioral strategies that people choose in conflict situations. Very often they see only one solution to a conflict situation - the partner must give up his position and accept their point of view, admitting that they are right and that they are wrong or guilty. If for a person this seems to be the only acceptable way out of the situation, then he will persistently defend his position, impose his point of view on his partner, denying his arguments. In essence, he is not looking for a solution to the problem; for him there is already only one possible solution - his own.
Sometimes a person believes that he is absolutely right and does not understand how others do not see this. Sometimes the habit of gaining the upper hand in an argument, dominating, the desire to always be first prevents him from listening to the arguments of another.
PARTNERSHIP
Adaptation cooperation
Compromise
Avoidance competition
PRESENCE
Rice. 1 Thomas-Kilman grid.
In some situations, the point may be that the partner causes an emotional protest and a desire to disagree with him because of the poorly chosen tone in this situation or the negative experience of previous relationships. The choice of a strategy that is not always effective may be influenced by cultural and historical stereotypes. The rigid standards (primarily ideological) of our past were more likely to focus on intolerance, struggle, uncompromisingness (remember the battle for the harvest, the conquest of nature, the war on crime - note, not the treatment of social pathology, but the “destruction of the enemy”...). And, on the contrary, the mention of a tendency to compromise actually sounded like an accusation of unprincipledness. These ideas have left an undoubted imprint on the spread of “hard” strategies of behavior in conflict situations, polemics, and negotiations. “Retreat without a fight” is behavior that, if not condemned, is often regarded as a sign of weakness. Everyone wants to be “strong,” and if society sees “strength” not in the ability to compromise, show restraint, etc., but “in fighting to the last,” people will choose confrontation.
Thus, the most common obstacles to effectively finding a way out of a conflict situation are: the participants’ perception of the way out of the conflict solely in the form of their victory; replacing the search for a solution that satisfies both sides with a fight for their interests and ideas; emotional aspects that prevent compromise or concessions; lack of negotiation and compromise skills, tendency to use ineffective strategies.
Table 3 Conditions for preference of the main methods of behavior in conflict (according to J. Scott “Methods of Conflict Resolution.” - Kyiv, 1991)
COMPETITION
The outcome is very important to you, and you place a big bet on your solution to the problem at hand.
· The decision needs to be made quickly, and you have enough power to do so. You feel like you have no choice and nothing to lose.
· You are in a critical situation that requires immediate response.
· You cannot let a group of people know that you are at a dead end, and then someone has to lead them.
· You must make an unconventional decision, but now you need to act and you have enough authority to take this step.
EVASION
The tension is too high and you feel the need to ease the tension.
· The outcome is not very important to you or you think that the decision is so trivial that it is not worth wasting energy on it.
· You are having a difficult day, and solving this problem may bring additional troubles. You know that you cannot or even do not want to resolve the conflict in your favor.
· You want to buy time to get more information or to gain someone's support.
· The situation is very difficult, and you feel that resolving the conflict will require too much of you.
· You have little power to solve the problem or to solve it in the way you want.
· You feel that others have a better chance of solving this problem. Trying to solve a problem immediately is dangerous because opening up and openly discussing the conflict can only make the situation worse.
COMPROMISE
Both parties have equal power and have mutually exclusive interests.
· You want to come to a decision quickly because you don't have time or because it is a more economical and efficient way. You may be happy with a temporary solution.
· You may benefit from short-term benefits.
· Other approaches to solving the problem have proven ineffective. Satisfying your desire is not too important for you; you can slightly change the goal set at the beginning.
DEVICE
· You are not particularly concerned about what happened.
· You understand that the outcome is much more important to the other person.
· You understand that the truth is not on your side.
· You believe that the other person can learn a lesson from this situation if you give in to his wishes, even if you disagree with what he is doing or believe that he is making a mistake.
COOPERATION
Solving the problem is very important for both parties, and no one wants to completely distance themselves from it.
· You have a close, long-term and interdependent relationship with the other party.
· You have time to work on the problem that has arisen.
· You and the other person are aware of the issue, and the wishes of both parties are known.
· You and your opponent want to put some ideas on the table and work together to come up with a solution.
· You are both able to communicate your interests and listen to each other. Both parties involved in the conflict have equal power and do not notice the difference in position in order to seek a solution to the problem on equal terms.
5. "Difficult Patients"
(N.A. Magazannik The art of communicating with patients. - M., 1991)
"Unpleasant" patient.
It happens that some patients cause irritation and hostility in the doctor. How to get rid of such feelings? Let's consider a typical case. On repeated visits, the patient says that he is not getting better. You expect gratitude, which is flattering and once again confirms your opinion of yourself as a good doctor, but instead, an unpleasant feeling of “misfire” arises. In vain you are looking for new methods of treatment - you still see a sad face and hear complaints. In this case, we are not talking about terminal cancer or another incurable disease (this is a special topic), but about a disease that is usually treatable. The doctor becomes annoyingly angry, the patient becomes unpleasant to him as a witness of his powerlessness. “Lord, if only he would leave me alone!” Oddly enough, the patient continues to turn to you, although seemingly without any benefit for himself. This circumstance contains the solution. In fact, why do patients go to the doctor? Most, naturally, would recover from the disease. However, there are other reasons.
In a difficult, sad or lonely life, a person often wants to ease his soul; he craves at least the appearance of participation. There is another category of patients. For them, every visit to the doctor proves to others that they are seriously ill and are forced to constantly undergo treatment. Among them there are selfish people and people who are overly concerned about their health and who regularly consult a doctor. However, often behind this lies an unconscious desire to escape from the difficulties of life, to receive, so to speak, a moral sick leave.
Sometimes the patient infuriates the doctor with his excessive thoroughness and meticulousness, asking endless questions that seem naive. This behavior reflects his anxiety: he is afraid to be left alone with his illness and therefore wants to stock up on answers to all possible cases. The leaflet with recommendations here also reassures the patient: now he has life-saving guidance.
So, there is no point in hypocritically hiding antipathy towards a patient: it tires and causes irritation, which involuntarily manifests itself in looks, gestures, and words; the patient feels this, and the atmosphere becomes even more painful. It is much wiser and nobler to try to understand the reason for the antipathy. When the reason becomes clear, the irritation will go away, and you will again find that peace of mind and goodwill, without which a doctor cannot work.
“Resisting” patient (resistance to discharge from hospital).
Most people are burdened by their stay in a hospital environment: not to mention their own illness and temporary loss of freedom, this is associated with the daily spectacle of human suffering, and even death. Therefore, the doctor’s message about the upcoming discharge is usually received with joy. However, occasionally there are patients on whom such news makes a depressing impression. In response, they immediately declare that they have not gotten better at all, or that the improvement is small and it is necessary to extend the treatment, or they present some new complaints and require additional examination, or in the case of a chronic illness they ask to be kept in the hospital until disability is registered or until transfer to a nursing home, etc.
Let us first consider the reasons and motives that prompt some patients to resist discharge.
1. More often it is simply fear of the disease or its return. After all, a hospital is a fortress, the garrison of which protects the patient from all misfortunes day and night and does not allow the disease to take over. When a person, already accustomed to a sense of security, suddenly hears that the “siege” has been lifted and that he can leave the “fortress,” he involuntarily gets scared. After all, now he will have to fight the disease himself, and he will no longer be surrounded by people in white coats.
2. The next reason for resistance to discharge is the excessive hopes that the patient places on inpatient treatment. For example, a patient is hospitalized for bronchial asthma. The therapy was successful, there has been no suffocation for several days now. Involuntarily it begins to seem to him that these wonderful doctors can do anything, even rid him completely of this damned asthma: if he is treated properly (i.e. long enough), he will completely recover... But we know that this his dream is not yet possible, even if he is kept in the hospital for six months.
3. The patient does not want to be discharged even if the hospital environment, in his opinion, is better than home. Thus, a lonely disabled person, who has long found it difficult to care for himself, involuntarily rests when he ends up in a hospital, where he is not only treated, but also fed, watered, and surrounded by care. In the same way, it is difficult for an old person to return home to his family if he is not welcome there.
4. Finally, occasionally there are patients who do not want to leave the hospital due to purely selfish reasons. So, a pensioner wants to stay in the hospital longer so as not to waste his pension. In some cases, long-term hospitalization allows the patient to survive, wait out some kind of heart attack at home or at work, or helps to obtain a pension.
Neurotic disorders in general medical practice
"... in the process of studying at a medical institute, the attention of both teachers and students is directed primarily to somatic diseases. Functional disorders and neuroses are examined briefly. The young doctor involuntarily gets the impression that when he begins independent work, the main thing is not skip the early stages of cancer, tuberculosis, acute abdomen - that is, treat the “real patient”.
However, in everyday life, almost all patients find themselves “incomprehensible.” The headache does not fit into the picture of migraine, meningitis, or trigeminal neuralgia; with abdominal pain there are no symptoms of peptic ulcer, cholecystitis, colitis, obstruction, perforation... The English doctor R. Gordon wrote with humor: “In the first week I discovered that most of the patients suffered from diseases completely unknown to medical science. I was puzzled such symptoms as “a horseshoe pressing on the head”, “larks in the stomach”, “ferrets running along the back”.
6. Tests
6. 1 Test "Conflict personality".
Instructions:Choose one of the 3 proposed answer options.
01. Imagine that an argument breaks out on public transport. What are you doing:
a) do not interfere in a quarrel;
b) you can intervene, take the side of the victim, who is right;
c) always intervene and defend your point of view to the end.
02. At a meeting, you criticize management for mistakes they have made:
b) yes, but depending on your personal attitude towards him;
c) always criticize for mistakes.
03. Your immediate superior sets out his work plan, which seems irrational to you. Would you suggest your plan, which seems better to you:
a) if others support you, then yes;
b) of course, you will support your plan;
c) you are afraid that you may be deprived of your bonus for criticism.
04. Do you like to argue with your colleagues and friends:
a) only with those who are not offended, and when disputes do not spoil your relationship;
b) yes, but only on fundamental, important issues,
c) you argue with everyone and on any occasion.
05. Someone is trying to jump ahead of you:
a) considering that you are no worse than him, you will try to bypass the queue;
b) you are indignant, but to yourself;
c) openly express your indignation.
06. Imagine that you are considering a rationalization proposal, an experimental work of your colleague, in which there are bold ideas, but there are also mistakes. You know that your opinion will be decisive. What will you do:
a) speak out about both the positive and negative aspects of this project;
b) highlight the positive aspects of his work and offer to provide the opportunity to continue it;
c) you will criticize her: to be an innovator, you cannot make mistakes.
07. Imagine: your mother-in-law (mother-in-law) constantly tells you about the need for savings and frugality, about your wastefulness, and every now and then she buys expensive things. She wants to know your opinion about her latest purchase. What will you tell her:
a) that you approve of the purchase if it gave her pleasure;
b) say that this thing is tasteless;
c) constantly quarrel, quarrel with her because of this.
08. You met teenagers who smoke. How do you react:
a) you think: “Why should I ruin my mood because of strangers, poorly behaved mischievous people?”;
b) reprimand them;
c) if it was in a public place, you would reprimand them,
09. In a restaurant you notice that the waiter has shortchanged you:
a) in this case, you do not give him the tip that you prepared in advance if he acted honestly;
b) ask him to count the amount again in front of you;
c) this will be a reason for a scandal.
10. You in a holiday home, the administrator is engaged in extraneous matters, having fun himself, instead of fulfilling his duties:
does not monitor the cleaning of the room or the variety of the menu. Does this bother you:
a) yes, but even if you express some complaints to him, it is unlikely to change anything;
b) you find a way to complain about him, let him be punished or even fired from his job;
c) you take out your dissatisfaction on junior staff: cleaners, waitresses,
11. You are arguing with; your teenage son and become convinced that he is right. Do you admit your mistake:
b) of course, you admit it;
KEY: answer “a” - 4 points; answer “b” - 2 points; answer "c" - 0 points;
RESULT:From 30 to 44 points. You are tactful. You don’t like conflicts, even if you can smooth them out, you easily avoid critical situations. When you have to get into an argument, you take into account how this will affect your official position or friendships. You strive to be pleasant to others, but when they need help, you do not always dare to provide it. Do you think that by doing so you are losing self-respect in the eyes of others?
From 15 to 29 points. They say about you that you are a conflict person. You persistently defend your opinion, regardless of how it will affect your work or personal relationships. And for this you are respected.
From 0 to 14 points. You are looking for reasons for disputes, most of which are unnecessary and petty. Love to criticize, but only when it benefits you. You impose your opinion, even if you are wrong. Will you be offended if you are considered a scandal-monger? Think about whether there is an inferiority complex hidden behind your behavior?
6.2 Test Thomas on behavior in conflict
Instructions;Choose one of two statements in each case
01-A Sometimes I give others the opportunity to take responsibility for resolving a controversial issue.
01-B How to discuss something O where we disagree, I try to pay attention to what we both disagree with.
02-A I'm trying to find a compromise solution.
02-B I I try to settle the matter taking into account the interests of the other and my own.
03-A Usually I persistently strive to achieve my goal.
03-B I I try to reassure the other and, mainly, preserve our relationship.
04-A I'm trying to find a compromise solution.
04-B Sometimes I sacrifice my own interests for the sake of the interests of another person.
05-A When resolving a controversial situation, I always try to find support from another.
05-B I
06-A I'm trying to avoid causing trouble for myself.
06-B I I'm trying to achieve my goal.
07-A I try to postpone the resolution of a controversial issue in order to finally resolve it over time.
07-B I I think it’s possible to give in on something in order to achieve something else.
08-A Usually I persistently strive to achieve my goal.
08-B I First of all, I try to clearly define what all the interests and issues involved are.
09-A I think that you shouldn’t always worry about any disagreements that arise.
09-B I I am making efforts to achieve my goal.
10-A I am determined to achieve my goal.
10-B I I'm trying to find a compromise solution.
11-A The first thing I do is try to clearly define what all the interests and issues involved are.
11-B I I try to reassure the other and mainly preserve our relationship.
012-A I often avoid taking positions that might cause controversy.
12-B I
13-A I propose a middle position.
13-B I I insist that it be done my way.
14-A I tell another my point of view and ask about his views.
14-B I I’m trying to show others the logic and advantages of my views.
15-A I try to reassure the other and, mainly, preserve our relationship.
15-B I I try to do everything necessary to avoid tension.
16-A I try not to hurt the feelings of another.
16-B I trying to convince someone else of the benefits of my position.
17-A Usually I persistently try to achieve my goal.
17-B I I try to do everything to avoid useless tension.
18-A If it makes someone else happy, I will give him the opportunity to insist on his own.
18-B I I give the other person the opportunity to remain unconvinced in some way if he also meets me halfway.
19-A First of all, I try to clearly define what all the interests involved and controversial issues are.
19-B I I try to postpone the resolution of a controversial issue in order to finally resolve it over time
20-A I am trying to overcome our differences immediately.
20-B I I try to find the best combination of benefits and losses for both of us.
21-A When negotiating, I try to be attentive to the wishes of the other.
21-B I always tend to discuss the problem directly.
22-A I try to find a position that is in the middle between my position and the other person's point of view.
22-B I I defend my desires.
23-A As a rule, I am concerned with satisfying the desires of each of us.
23-B Sometimes I present an opportunity for others to take responsibility for resolving a controversial issue.
24-A If the position of another seems very important to him, I will try to meet his wishes.
24-B I I try to convince the other to come to a compromise.
25-A I am trying to show another the logic and advantages of my views.
25-B When negotiating, I try to be attentive to the wishes of the other.
26-A I propose a middle position.
26-B I almost always concerned with satisfying the desires of each of us.
27-A I often avoid taking positions that might cause controversy.
27-B If it makes the other person happy, I will give him the opportunity to have his way.
28-A Usually I persistently strive to achieve my goal.
28-B When dealing with a situation, I usually try to find support from the other person.
29-A I propose a middle position.
29-B I think that it is not always worth worrying about any disagreements that arise.
30-A I try not to hurt the feelings of another.
30-B I I always take a position on a controversial issue so that we, together with another interested person, can achieve success.
KEY FOR THE QUESTIONNAIRE
Rivalry:
03-A, 06-B, 08-A, 09-B, 10-A, 13-B, 14-B, 16-B. 17-A, 22-B, 25-A, 28-A;
Cooperation:
02-B, 05-A, 08-B, 11-A, 14-A, 19-A, 20-A, 27-B, 23-A, 26-B, 28-B, 30-B;
Compromise:
02-A, 04-A, 07-B, 70-B, 72-B, 13-A, 78-B, 20-B, 22-A, 24-B, 26-A, 29-A;
Avoidance:
01-A, 05-B, 06-A, 07-A, 09-A, 12-A, 75-B, 77-B. 79-B, 21-A, 27-A, 29-B;
Device:
07-B, 03-B, 04-B, 77-B, 15-A, 16-A, 18-A, 23-B, 24-A, 25-B, 27-B, 30-A;
The optimal set of tactics is in the “corridor” from 5 to 7 points.
7. Communication training
“As soon as we begin to be aware of the situation, we cease to be the same. A man who is aware of his obsession, a woman who has realized that she is unloved, a worker who has realized that he is a proletarian - they are all no longer the same that were before, at least in the area in which this became a new condition for their behavior." (P. Fress)
Related information.
Self-test questions
1. Reveal the essence of each behavior strategy in productive conflict.
2. What strategy is typical for you?
In a conflict, it is not the mind that dominates in a person, but emotions, which leads to affect, when consciousness simply turns off and the person is not responsible for his words and actions. The great Persian writer and thinker Saadi (between 1203 and 1210-1292) wrote about this:
If you are angry, be patient, cool down a little, yield to reason, change your anger to mercy. Breaking any ruby does not take long and is not difficult, But it is impossible to put the fragments back together.
Experts in the field of conflict studies have developed a code of conduct in conflict. Let's get acquainted with some rules* (*Samygin S., Stolyarenko L.D. Psychology of management. - Rostov-on-Don 1997.-P. 468-472.):
1. Let your partner let off steam. If your partner is irritated and aggressive (overwhelmed with negative emotions), it is difficult and often impossible to come to an agreement with him, so try to help him reduce internal tension. During its “explosion” it is recommended to behave calmly, confidently, but not arrogantly.
2. Knock down aggression with unexpected techniques. For example, ask an unexpected question about a completely different, but significant matter for your partner, or confidentially ask your conflicting interlocutor for advice.
3. Don't give your partner negative assessments, but talk about your feelings. Do not say: “You are deceiving me,” it sounds better: “I feel deceived.”
4. Ask them to formulate the desired end result and problem as a chain of obstacles. A problem is something that needs to be solved, and the attitude towards a person is the background, the conditions in which a decision has to be made. If you have a hostile attitude towards a client or partner, you may not want to solve the problem. This cannot be done! Don't let your emotions control you. Together with your interlocutor, identify the problem and focus on it. In other words: separate the problem from the person.
5. Invite the client to express his thoughts on resolving the problem and his options for solutions. There is no need to look for those responsible and explain the current situation. Look for a way out of it. Don't stop at the first acceptable option, there should be many of them to choose the best one (alternative). At the same time, always remember that you should look for mutually acceptable solutions, i.e. you and the client (communication partner) must be mutually satisfied with the end result.
6. In any case, let your partner “save face.” Don’t allow yourself to let loose and respond to aggression with aggression and hurt your partner’s dignity; he will not forgive this, even if he gives in to pressure. Do not touch upon his personality, but evaluate only his actions and deeds, for example, you can say: “You have already failed to fulfill your promise twice,” but you cannot say: “You are an unnecessary person.”
7. Reflect, like an echo, the meaning of statements and claims. The use of phrases like “Did I understand you correctly?”, “You wanted to say...” eliminates misunderstandings and demonstrates attention to the interlocutor, which reduces his aggression.
8. Don't be afraid to apologize if you feel guilty. Confident and mature people are capable of apologizing, so it disarms the client and earns him respect and trust.
9. There is no need to prove anything. In a conflict, no one will ever be able to prove anything to anyone, since negative emotions block the ability to understand and agree with the “enemy.” A person at this moment does not think, his rational part is turned off, and therefore there is no need to try to prove anything. This is a waste of time and a useless exercise.
10. Be the first to shut up. If it so happens that you did not notice how you were “drawn” into a conflict (according to observations, 80% of conflicts arise beyond the wishes of their participants), try to do the only thing - shut up. Do not demand from your “enemy” interlocutor: “Shut up”, “Stop”, but from yourself. However, your silence should not be offensive to your partner and should not be tinged with gloating and defiance.
11. Don't characterize your opponent's condition. Avoid verbally stating your partner’s negative emotional state: “Why are you angry, nervous?”, “Why are you angry?” - such “pacifiers” only strengthen and intensify the conflict.
12. Regardless of the outcome of resolving the contradiction, try not to destroy the relationship. Express your respect and affection to the client, partner and agree on the difficulties that have arisen. If you preserve the relationship and allow the client to “save face,” you will not lose him as a future client or partner.
In Nelly Vlasova’s book “...And you’ll wake up as a boss,” it is formulated 11 taboos in a conflict situation.
It is forbidden:
1. Critically evaluate your partner.
2. Attribute base or bad intentions to him.
3. Show signs of your superiority.
4. Blame and attribute responsibility only to the partner.
5. Ignore the interests of the communication partner.
6. See everything only from your position.
7. Reduce the merits of the partner and his contribution to the common cause.
8. Exaggerate your merits.
9. Get irritated, scream and attack.
10. Touch your partner’s pain points and vulnerabilities.
11. Blast your partner with a lot of complaints.
In a conflict situation, you should always remember the “golden rule” of morality, the observance of politeness and tact (see sections 1.1, 1.2).
The manifestation of emotions is also associated with a person’s temperament, upbringing and habits. Sometimes the emotions familiar to a person leave a peculiar imprint on the expression of his face. It’s not for nothing that they talk about worried, surprised, cheerful faces.
Self-test questions
1. What are “emotions”? What is the important difference between emotions and feelings?
2. What types of emotions do you know?
3. What types of feelings do you know?
4. Does a person’s emotional reaction always correspond to the impact? Explain the reasons for possible compliance or inconsistency, illustrate your answer with examples.
5. How do emotions manifest themselves externally?
6. What importance do emotions play in a person’s life?
7. Show with examples the connection between emotional reactions and their physiological manifestation.
Chapter 4
CONFLICTS IN BUSINESS COMMUNICATION
As you know, work relationships influence people’s mood and create a microclimate in the team. It’s no secret that business relationships involve rapidly changing situations, and this, in turn, can lead to To emergence of conflicts. Each of us has had to deal with conflict situations. As soon as a conflict arises, our emotions are immediately triggered, we experience tension, discomfort and harm our health and the health of the participants in the conflict. Therefore, it is useful for every cultured person to have a basic understanding of conflicts, ways to get out of them with dignity, and rules of behavior in conflict situations.
4.1. Conflict and its structure
Conflict(from lat. conflictus - collision) is a collision of oppositely directed goals, interests, positions, opinions, points of view, views of communication partners. In psychology the following are distinguished: types of conflict.
Intrapersonal conflict arises due to a person’s state of dissatisfaction with any circumstances of his life, associated with the presence of conflicting interests, aspirations and needs.
Interpersonal conflict is the most common type of conflict; it arises between people due to the incompatibility of their views, interests, goals, and needs.
Intergroup conflict occurs due to a clash of interests of different groups.
Conflict between group and individual manifests itself as a contradiction between the expectations of an individual and the norms of behavior and communication that have developed in the group.
The emergence of a conflict is possible for various reasons and circumstances, for example, it may be the result of insufficient understanding in the communication process, incorrect assumptions regarding the actions of the interlocutor, differences in plans and assessments (see sections 2.3 - 2.6). The causes of the conflict may be: individual personal characteristics of the communication partner (see section 3.1); inability (unwillingness) to control one’s emotional state (see section 3.4); tactlessness and lack of desire to work, as well as loss of interest in work.
The main role in the emergence of conflicts is played by conflictogens- words, actions (or inactions) that contribute to the emergence and development of conflict. However, a “lone conflict agent” by itself is not capable of leading to conflict. To do this, a chain of conflictogens must arise - their escalation, that is, when we try to respond to a conflictogen addressed to us with a stronger conflictogen, often choosing the strongest of all possible.
How does the exchange of “courtesy” take place? Having received a conflictogen in his address, the “victim” responds with “resentment for resentment” in order to compensate for his psychological loss. At the same time, his answer should not be weaker, therefore, for complete confidence, it is done with a “reserve” (it’s hard to resist the temptation to teach the offender a lesson?!). As a result, the power of conflictogens increases. The following main ones stand out: types of conflict pathogens:
1) striving for superiority;
2) manifestation of aggression;
3) manifestation of selfishness.
In order to avoid conflicts in the process of communication and interaction with other people, you should:
1) remember that any careless statement can provoke a conflict (due to the escalation of conflictogens);
2) show empathy towards the interlocutor. To do this, you need to put yourself in his position and imagine how your words, actions and deeds will resonate in his soul.
In order to understand the essence of the conflict and effectively resolve it, it is necessary to turn to one of conflict formulas:
conflict situation + incident - conflict,
Where conflict situation - these are accumulated contradictions that create the true cause of the conflict; incident- this is a coincidence of circumstances (sparks) that are the reason for the conflict; conflict is an open confrontation resulting from mutually exclusive interests and positions.
Resolving a conflict means:
1) eliminate the conflict situation;
2) end the incident.
However, as practice shows, there are many cases in life when, for objective reasons, it is impossible to eliminate a conflict situation. Therefore, in order to avoid conflict, care should be taken not to create an incident.
Self-test questions
1. Expand the content of the concept of “conflict”.
2. Determine what type the following conflicts are:
a) the administration presents conflicting demands to the employee regarding the final result of his work, and he does not know what to do;
b) the manager did not appreciate the work of the subordinate and thereby offended him;
c) when making decisions in a team, there is a clash of views and characters.
3. Is there a relationship between the conflict formula and the possibility of its resolution?
4.2. Behavior strategy in conflict situations
According to the method of resolution, conflicts are divided into productive (constructive) and unproductive (destructive).
Destructive conflicts- these are conflicts in which interpersonal connections are destroyed, work efficiency sharply decreases, and solving the problem becomes impossible.
Constructive conflicts do not go beyond the scope of business relations and involve five behavioral strategies: competition, cooperation, compromise, accommodation and avoidance.
1.Rivalry is an open “struggle” for one’s interests. This strategy is used when a person has a strong will, power and sufficient authority. However, competition rarely brings long-term results; That, Who If you lose today, you may refuse to cooperate later. Therefore this strategy cannot be used V personal, close relationships.
2. Cooperation is a search for a solution that satisfies the interests of both parties. This strategy leads to success in business and personal life, since in the process of resolving conflict there is a desire to meet the needs of everyone. Experts recommend starting to implement this strategy with phrases like: “I want a fair outcome for both of us,” “Let’s see what we can do to get what we both want,” etc.
It has been proven that when both sides win, they are more likely to implement their decisions. Cooperation presupposes the ability (desire) to restrain one’s emotions, explain one’s decisions (reason for demands) and listen to the other side. Through collaboration, joint work experience is acquired and listening skills are developed.
3. Compromise is the settlement of disagreements through mutual concessions. This strategy is effective when both parties want the same thing, but know for sure that at the same time their desires are impossible to fulfill (for example: the desire to occupy one And the same position).
As a rule, a compromise allows you to gain at least something rather than lose everything, and makes it possible to develop a temporary solution if there is no time to develop another.
4. Avoidance- this is the desire to get out of the conflict without resolving it, without insisting on one’s own, but without giving in one’s own. This strategy is recommended to be used V cases when one of the parties feels that it is wrong, or believes that there are no serious grounds for continuing contacts. Moreover, leaving or postponing suggests that during this time the situation can resolve itself or you can deal with it when you have sufficient information or the desire to resolve it.
5. Device represents a tendency to smooth out contradictions, sacrificing one’s interests. If the other person’s need turns out to be more important than yours, and the feelings are stronger, then this strategy is the only one for resolving the conflict.
An accommodation strategy may be used if:
You are not particularly concerned about what happened, and the subject of disagreement is not important to you;
You realize that the truth is on your side;
You feel that your chances of winning are minimal;
It is clear that no single strategy for behavior in a productive conflict can be considered the best, so it is important to learn how to effectively use each of them, taking into account the circumstances and situation.
Self-test questions
1. Reveal the essence of each behavior strategy in productive conflict.
2. What strategy is typical for you?
4.3. Rules of conduct in conflicts
In a conflict, it is not the mind that dominates in a person, but emotions, which leads to affect, when consciousness simply turns off and the person is not responsible for his words and actions. The great Persian writer and thinker Saadi (between 1203 and 1210-1292) wrote about this:
Angry - be patient, cool down a little, yield to reason, change your anger to mercy. Breaking any ruby does not take long and is not difficult, But it is impossible to put the fragments back together.
Experts in the field of conflict studies have developed a code of conduct in conflict. Let's get acquainted with some rules* (*Samygin S., Stolyarenko L.D. Psychology of management. - Rostov-on-Don 1997.-P. 468-472.):
1. Let your partner let off steam. If your partner is irritated and aggressive (overwhelmed with negative emotions), it is difficult and often impossible to come to an agreement with him, so try to help him reduce internal tension. During his “explosion” it is recommended to behave calmly, confidently, but not arrogantly.
2. Knock down aggression with unexpected techniques. For example, ask an unexpected question about a completely different, but significant matter for your partner, or confidentially ask your conflicting interlocutor for advice.
3. Don't give your partner negative assessments, but talk about your feelings. Do not say: “You are deceiving me,” it sounds better: “I feel deceived.”
4. Ask them to formulate the desired end result and problem as a chain of obstacles. A problem is something that needs to be solved, and the attitude towards a person is the background, the conditions in which a decision has to be made. If you have a hostile attitude towards a client or partner, you may not want to solve the problem. This cannot be done! Don't let your emotions control you. Together with your interlocutor, identify the problem and focus on it. In other words: separate the problem from the person.
5. Invite the client to express his thoughts on resolving the problem and his options for solutions. There is no need to look for the culprits and explain the current situation. Look for a way out of it. Do not stop at the first acceptable option; many of them must be found in order to choose the best one (alternative). At the same time, always remember that you should look for mutually acceptable solutions, i.e. you and the client (communication partner) must be mutually satisfied with the end result.
6. In any case, let your partner “save face.” Don’t allow yourself to let loose and respond to aggression with aggression and hurt your partner’s dignity; he will not forgive this, even if he gives in to pressure. Do not touch on his personality, but evaluate only his actions and deeds, for example, you can say: “You have already failed to fulfill your promise twice,” but you cannot say: “You are an unnecessary person.”
7. Reflect, like an echo, the meaning of statements and claims. The use of phrases like “Did I understand you correctly?”, “You wanted to say...” eliminates misunderstandings and demonstrates attention to the interlocutor, which reduces his aggression.
8. Don't be afraid to apologize if you feel guilty. Confident and mature people are capable of apologizing, so this disarms the client and earns him respect and trust.
9. There is no need to prove anything. In a conflict, no one will ever be able to prove anything to anyone, since negative emotions block the ability to understand and agree with the “enemy.” A person at this moment does not think, his rational part is switched off, and therefore there is no need to try to prove anything. This is a waste of time and a useless exercise.
10. Be the first to shut up. If it so happens that you didn’t notice how you were “drawn” into a conflict (according to observations, 80% of conflicts arise against the wishes of their participants), try to do the only thing - shut up. Do not demand from your “enemy” interlocutor: “Shut up”, “Stop”, but from yourself. However, your silence should not be offensive to your partner and should not be tinged with gloating and defiance.
11. Don't characterize your opponent's condition. Avoid verbally stating your partner’s negative emotional state: “Why are you angry, nervous?”, “Why are you angry?” - such “pacifiers” only strengthen and intensify the conflict.
12. Regardless of the outcome of resolving the contradiction, try not to destroy the relationship. Express your respect and affection to the client, partner and express your agreement regarding the difficulties that have arisen. If you preserve the relationship and allow the client to “save face,” you will not lose him as a future client or partner.
In Nelly Vlasova’s book “...And you’ll wake up as a boss,” the 11 taboos in a conflict situation.
It is forbidden:
1. Critically evaluate your partner.
2. Attribute base or bad intentions to him.
3. Show signs of your superiority.
4. Blame and attribute responsibility only to the partner.
5. Ignore the interests of the communication partner.
6. See everything only from your position.
7. Reduce the merits of the partner and his contribution to the common cause.
8. Exaggerate your merits.
9. Get irritated, scream and attack.
10. Touch your partner’s pain points and vulnerabilities.
11. Blast your partner with a lot of complaints.
In a conflict situation, you should always remember the “golden rule” of morality, the observance of politeness and tact (see sections 1.1, 1.2).
Self-test questions
1. What rules of conduct in a conflict situation can you adopt?
2. What is prohibited in a conflict?
Chapter 5
PSYCHOLOGICAL TESTS
Test (from English. test - check) is a system of tasks that allows you to measure the level of development of a certain psychological property of a person * (* Psychology: Dictionary / Edited by A.V. Petrovsky. - M., 1990. - P. 396.).
The term "test" was first introduced in 1890 in England. Tests became widespread in child psychology after 1905, when a series of tests were developed in France to determine the giftedness of children, and in the practice of psychodiagnostics after 1910, when a series of tests for professional selection were developed in Germany.
The proposed tests will help you get to know yourself better, but, of course, you should not take the results as absolutes.
Test No. 1
Can you express your thoughts?
Instructions: Each of the above questions should be answered “yes” or “no”.
1. Do you care about being understood?
2. Do you choose words that correspond to the age, education, intelligence and general culture of the interlocutor?
3. Do you think about the form of presentation of your thoughts before speaking?
4. Are your orders brief enough?
5. If the interlocutor does not ask you questions after you have spoken, do you think that he understood you?
6. Are you expressing yourself clearly and accurately enough?
7. Do you follow the logic of your thoughts and statements?
8. Do you find out what was not clear in your statements? Do you encourage asking questions?
9. Do you ask questions to your interlocutors to understand their thoughts and mood?
10. Do you differentiate facts from opinions?
11. Do you try to refute the thoughts of your interlocutor?
12. Do you try to ensure that your interlocutors always agree with you?
13. Do you use professional terms that not everyone understands?
14. Do you speak politely and friendly?
15. Do you monitor the impression made by your words?
16. Do you pause to think?
Processing the results
Award 1 point for answering “no” to questions 5, 11, 12, 13 and 1 point for answering “yes” to all others.
The sum of points means:
from 12 to 16 points- excellent result;
from 10 to 12 points- average result;
less than 9 points- bad result.
Test No. 2
Are you good at communicating?
Instructions: Each of the above questions should be answered: “yes”, “no”, “sometimes”.
1. You are about to have an ordinary business meeting. Does her anticipation unsettle you?
2. Do you put off visiting a doctor until it becomes completely unbearable?
3. Do you feel confused and displeased when asked to give a report, message, or information on any topic at a meeting, gathering, or similar event?
4. You are offered to go on a business trip to a city where you have never been. Will you make every effort to avoid this business trip?
5. Do you like to share your experiences with anyone?
6. Do you get annoyed if a stranger on the street turns to you with a request (show the way, tell you what time it is, etc.)?
7. Do you believe that there is a problem of “fathers and sons” and that it is difficult for people of different generations to understand each other?
8. Are you embarrassed to remind a friend that he forgot to return you 30 rubles, which he borrowed several months ago?
9. In a restaurant or canteen you were served a clearly inferior dish. Will you remain silent, only angrily pushing your plate away?
10. Finding yourself alone with strangers, you will not enter into conversation with him and will be burdened if he speaks first. Is it so?
11. You are horrified by any long line, no matter where it is (in a store, library, theater box office). Would you rather give up your intention than stand in line and wait?
12. Are you afraid to participate in any commission to consider conflict situations?
13. You have your own purely individual criteria for evaluating works of literature, art, culture, and you do not accept any “other people’s” opinions on this matter. This is true?
14. Having heard somewhere on the sidelines expressing a clearly erroneous point of view on an issue that is well known to you, would you prefer to remain silent and not enter into an argument?
15. Do you feel annoyed when someone asks you to help you understand a particular work issue or educational topic?
16. Are you more willing to express your point of view (opinion, assessment) in writing than orally?
Processing the results
The answer “yes” is worth 2 points; “sometimes” - 1 point; “no” - 0 points. The total number of points is summed up and the classifier determines which category of people you belong to.
From 30 to 32 points- You are clearly uncommunicative. It’s not easy for those close to you. It is difficult to rely on you in a task that requires group effort. Try to become more sociable, more contactable, and control yourself.
From 25 to 29 points- you are taciturn, prefer to be alone, and therefore you probably have few friends. A new job and the need for new contacts, if they don’t plunge you into panic, then throw you out of balance for a long time. You know this feature of your character and are dissatisfied with yourself, but do not limit yourself to dissatisfaction alone, you have the power to refract these character features. Doesn’t it happen that with any strong passion you “suddenly” acquire complete communication skills? You just have to shake yourself up.
From 19 to 24 points - You are to a certain extent sociable and feel quite confident in unfamiliar surroundings. New problems do not frighten you, and yet you approach new people cautiously and are reluctant to participate in arguments and debates.
From 14 to 18 points-You have normal communication skills. You are inquisitive, willing to listen to an interesting interlocutor, patient enough in communicating with others and defend your point of view without temper. You go to meet new people without any unpleasant experiences, but at the same time you do not like noisy companies, and extravagant antics and verbosity cause you irritation.
From 9 to 13 points- you are very sociable, curious, talkative and like to speak out on various issues. Be willing to meet new people. You love to be the center of attention, you don’t refuse anyone’s requests, although you can’t always fulfill them. Sometimes you get angry, but quickly move away. What you lack is perseverance, patience and courage when faced with serious problems. If you want, however, you can force yourself not to retreat.
From 4 to 8 points- You must be very sociable, always aware of everything. Love to take part in discussions. You willingly speak out on any issue, even if you have a superficial understanding of it. Everywhere you feel at ease. You take on any task, although you are not always able to successfully complete it. For this reason, managers and colleagues treat you with some caution and doubt. Think about these facts!
3 points or less - your communication skills are excessive. You are talkative, verbose, and interfere in matters that have nothing to do with you. You undertake to judge problems in which you are completely incompetent. Knowingly or unwittingly, you are often the cause of various kinds of conflicts in your environment. You are quick-tempered, touchy, and often biased. People, both at work and at home, have a hard time with you. You need to work on yourself and your character! First of all, cultivate patience and restraint, treat people more respectfully.
Of course, the test results should not be taken as absolutes. However, if you consider it necessary to conduct self-analysis at least on the basis of questionnaires of this type, then this in itself indicates a sincere desire to understand and eliminate the difficulties associated with establishing contacts with others.
Test No. 3
Is it pleasant to communicate with you?
Instructions: Please answer “yes” or “no” to the following questions.
1. Do you like listening more than talking?
2. Can you always find a topic for conversation even with a stranger?
3. Do you always listen carefully to your interlocutor?
4. Do you like to give advice?
5. If the topic of conversation is not interesting to you, will you show it to your interlocutor?
6. Do you get irritated when people don’t listen to you?
7. Do you have your own opinion on any issue?
8. If the topic of conversation is not familiar to you, will you develop it?
9. Do you like to be the center of attention?
10. Are there at least three subjects in which you have sufficient knowledge?
11. Are you a good speaker?
Processing the results
For each answer “yes” to questions 1, 2, 3, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, award 1 point and calculate the total points.
From 1 to 3 points - It’s hard to say: either you’re a silent person from whom you can’t get a word out, or you’re very sociable. However, communicating with you is not always easy, and sometimes even difficult. You should think about this.
From 4 to 8 points- You may not be a very sociable person, but you are almost always an attentive and pleasant conversationalist. You can be very absent-minded when you are out of sorts, but you do not demand special attention from those around you at such moments.
From 9 points— you are probably one of the nicest people to talk to. It’s unlikely that your friends can do without you. This is wonderful. Only one question arises: don’t you have to play a lot, like on stage?
Test No. 4
Level of proficiency in nonverbal components
in the process of business communication
Instructions: Answer the following statements with “yes” or “no”.
1. Interlocutors often draw my attention to the fact that I speak too loudly or too quietly.
2. During a conversation, sometimes I don’t know where to put my hands.
3. I feel awkward in the first minutes of meeting someone.
4. Almost always, upcoming communication with a stranger causes me anxiety.
5. I am often constrained in my movements.
6. During a 10-minute conversation, I cannot do without leaning against or leaning on something.
7. I usually don’t pay attention to my partner’s facial expressions and movements, focusing on his speech.
8. I try to limit the circle of my business contacts to a few people I know well.
9. When talking, I often turn something in my hands.
10. It is difficult for me to hide sudden emotions.
11. During business conversations, I try to completely eliminate facial expressions and gestures.
Processing the results
The fewer affirmative answers ("yes" answers), the better a person's command of nonverbal means of communication.
If 11 negative answers (“no”) are given, this does not mean that nonverbal methods can be neglected. By carefully observing yourself and your interlocutors, you can discover many interesting, informative points that previously did not mean anything and which can now significantly facilitate your professional activities.
Test No. 5
Can you listen?
Instructions: You are asked to answer 10 questions. Evaluate your answer with points. For the answer “Almost always” - 2 points; “In most cases” - 4 points; “Sometimes” – 6 points; “Rarely” - 8 points; “Almost never” – 10 points.
1. Do you try to “curtail” the conversation in cases where the topic (or the interlocutor) is not interesting to you?
2. Do your communication partner’s manners irritate you?
3. Can another person’s unsuccessful expression provoke you to be harsh or rude?
4. Do you avoid entering into conversation with unknown or unfamiliar people?
5. Do you have a habit of interrupting the speaker?
6. Do you pretend to listen attentively, but you yourself are thinking about something completely different?
8. Do you change the topic of conversation if the interlocutor touches on a topic that is unpleasant for you?
9. Do you correct a person if there are incorrectly pronounced words, names, or vulgarisms in his speech?
10. Do you have a condescending mentoring tone with a tinge of disdain and irony towards the person you are talking to?
Processing the results
Calculate the total points.
The higher the score, the more developed the listening skill. If dialed more than 62 points, then the ability to listen is above the “average level”. Usually GPA listeners 55. If the score is lower, then you should watch yourself when speaking.
Test No. 6
Temperament type
Instructions: Answer “yes” or “no” to the following 57 questions.
1. Do you often feel a craving for new experiences, to “shake yourself up”, to experience excitement?
2. Do you often need friends who understand you and can encourage or console you?
3. Are you a carefree person?
4. Is it true that it is very difficult for you to answer “no”?
5. Do you think before doing anything?
6. Do you always keep your promises, regardless of the fact that it is not profitable for you?
7. Do you often have ups and downs in your mood?
8. Do you usually speak and act quickly without thinking?
9. Do you often feel unhappy without good reason?
10. Would you do almost anything on a dare?
11. Do you feel embarrassed when you want to talk to attractive strangers of the opposite sex?
12. Does it happen that you lose your temper and get angry?
13. Do you often act under the influence of a momentary mood?
14. Do you often worry because you have done or said something that you should not have done or said?
15. Do you usually prefer books to meeting people?
16. Are you easily offended?
17. Do you often like to be in companies?
18. Do you have thoughts that you would like to hide from others?
19. Is it true that sometimes you are so full of energy that everything is burning in your hands, and sometimes you are completely lethargic?
20. Do you prefer to have fewer friends, but especially close ones?
21. Do you often dream?
22. When people shout at you, do you respond in kind?
23. Are you often bothered by feelings of guilt?
24. Are all your habits good and desirable?
25. Are you able to give free rein to your feelings and have a lot of fun in company?
26. Do you consider yourself an excitable and sensitive person?
27. Are you considered a lively and cheerful person?
28. Do you often, after doing something important, feel that you could have done it better?
29. Are you more silent when you are around other people?
30. Do you sometimes gossip?
31. Does it ever happen that you can’t sleep because different thoughts are popping into your head?
32. If you want to know about something, would you rather read about it in a book than ask?
33. Do you have palpitations?
34. Do you like work that requires constant attention from you?
35. Does it ever happen that you “shiver”?
36. Would you always pay for baggage transportation if you weren’t afraid of being checked?
Strategies for behavior in conflict situations
Traditionally, there are five main styles (strategies) of behavior in conflict: avoidance, adaptation, confrontation, cooperation, and compromise.
1. Evasion (avoidance, ignoring) means passive non-cooperation, characterized by an unwillingness to meet the opponent halfway and protect one’s own interests. A person simply ignores a conflict situation, pretending that it does not exist. Many prefer to preserve a bad peace, which, as we know, is better than a good quarrel. This strategy is optimal when the situation is not particularly significant for you and is not worth wasting your energy and nerves on it. It happens that it is better not to get involved, since the chances of changing anything are close to zero.
Psychologists consider avoiding conflict to be the right strategy if there is reason to believe that further developments will be favorable for the participant in the conflict interaction or, by bringing him success without much effort or by improving the balance of power in his favor, will provide him with more advantageous opportunities to resolve the situation .
But evasion is not always justified, and is not always realized in a conscious (rational) form. More often there is an unconscious (irrational) escape from difficult circumstances. Often, a psychologically dependent person, in response to a conflict confrontation, demands or accusations, moves the conversation to another topic, does not take responsibility for solving problems, does not see controversial issues, and does not attach importance to disagreements. He denies the existence of a conflict, considers it useless, and tries not to get into situations that provoke confrontation.
With this strategy of behavior, the actions of the conflict specialist should be aimed at helping the defending party get out of the situation, without giving in, but also without insisting on their own, refraining in any way from entering into disputes and discussions, from expressing their position.
2. Adaptation (compliance, smoothing) involves easing the opponent up to complete capitulation, and is characterized by a tendency to soften conflict interactions and maintain the harmony of existing relations.
This strategy demonstrates the good will of the adapting party, leads to the conservation of emotional resources, the relief of tension, the preservation of relationships, and the peaceful coexistence of different systems. This behavior is clearly visible in politics, where coalition governments, alliances of disparate political parties, etc. can serve as examples.
A concession demonstrates good will and serves as a positive model for the opponent, and often becomes a turning point in a tense situation, changing its course to a more favorable one. By conceding to the partner in admitting that he is right, the party to the conflict gives the impression of a reasonable, fair debater. The smart one will go around the mountain - this is the motto of intelligent adaptation.
However, a concession can also do a disservice and be perceived by the opponent as a sign of weakness, which is fraught with an escalation of his pressure and demands. In this case, the other side takes the path of competition rather than searching for a mutually acceptable solution. After the first concession, the opponent is ready to increase the pressure, counting on the soft-heartedness or pliability of the one who conceded. One can easily be fooled into relying on the reciprocity of this strategy. A person or group that has only this strategy in its conflict repertoire becomes passive, does not receive full self-realization, and in addition, not achieving the desired result and systematically not satisfying its interests, loses self-esteem.
The actions of a conflict specialist in a conflict situation should be aimed at maintaining or restoring good relationships, at ensuring the satisfaction of the other person by smoothing out disagreements. For the sake of this, the opponent must be convinced to give in, neglect his own interests, support the other, not hurt his feelings, and take into account his arguments. “You shouldn’t quarrel, since we are all one team, in the same boat, which should not be rocked” is the key argument of the conflict manager.
3. Confrontation (rivalry, competition)- this is active and independent behavior aimed at satisfying one’s own interests without taking into account the interests of the other party, or even to the detriment of them. If one side chooses this strategy, it seeks satisfaction of its claims and tries to convince or force the other side to make concessions. Confrontation involves perceiving the situation as either a victory or a defeat, taking a tough position and showing irreconcilable antagonism in the event of resistance from a partner.
This strategy is often quite logical, for example, in sports competitions, when entering a university through a competition, or when finding a job. But sometimes the confrontation becomes destructive in the name of “victory at any cost,” and in this case dishonest and cruel methods are used.
There is a belief among most managers that even if they are fully confident that they are right, not getting involved in a conflict situation at all or retreating is better than entering into outright confrontation. However, if we are talking about a business decision, the correctness of which determines the success of the business, such compliance results in management errors and other losses.
The actions of a conflict manager with this strategy should be aimed at helping one side defend its interests through open struggle, the use of power, and coercion.
A promising way to resolve a conflict is to bring the problem to public attention. This makes it possible to freely discuss it with the involvement of the maximum number of participants in the conflict (in essence, this is no longer a conflict, but a labor dispute), to enter into confrontation with the problem, and not with each other, in order to identify and eliminate all shortcomings. The purpose of confrontational sessions is to bring people together in a non-hostile forum that promotes communication. Public and frank communication is one of the means of conflict management.
4. Compromise (integration)- a strategy that is based on mutual concessions of the parties. According to management experts, such behavior is the best way to eliminate contradictions.
The ideal option is to satisfy the interests of each party halfway. However, often one side makes more concessions than the other (perhaps it just seems like it to them), which can lead to even greater aggravation of relations in the future. Unfortunately, compromise often turns out to be a temporary solution, since neither party fully satisfies its interests.
Real problem solving involves recognizing differences of opinion and being willing to listen to other points of view in order to understand the causes of the conflict and resolve it at a different level in a way acceptable to all parties. The one who uses this strategy does not try to achieve his goal at the expense of others, but looks for the best solution to a conflict situation.
5. Cooperation (coordination) aimed at satisfying the interests of both parties. Only through collaboration can the most effective, sustainable and reliable results be achieved. This requires a transition from defending one’s positions to a deeper level at which compatibility and commonality of interests are discovered. This strategy allows you to resolve conflict and maintain partnerships during and after it. Cooperation requires the intellectual and emotional efforts of the parties, as well as time and resources.
In this case, the actions of the conflict specialist should be aimed exclusively at finding a solution that fully satisfies both the interests of one and the wishes of the other person during an open and frank exchange of views on the problem. It is important to resolve disagreements by conceding something in exchange for reciprocal compromise steps, and in the process of negotiations to look for intermediate solutions that suit both parties, in which no one particularly loses anything, but no one gains anything either.
Such cooperation and coordination is possible between organizational units at different levels of the management pyramid (vertical coordination), at organizational levels of the same rank (horizontal coordination) and in the form of a mixed form of both options.
Tactics 4. and 5. are not always good, just as tactics 3. are not always bad.
When analyzing conflicts based on the model under consideration, it is important to remember that the level of focus on one’s own interests or the interests of an opponent depends on three circumstances:
2) values of interpersonal relationships;
3) individual psychological characteristics of the individual.
A special place in assessing models and strategies of individual behavior in conflict occupies the value for her of interpersonal relationships with the opposing side. If for one of the rivals interpersonal relationships with the other (friendship, love, camaraderie, partnership, etc.) are of no value, then his behavior in the conflict will be characterized by destructive content or extreme positions in strategy (coercion, struggle, rivalry) . And, conversely, the value of interpersonal relationships for the subject of conflict interaction, as a rule, is a significant reason for constructive behavior in a conflict or the direction of such behavior towards compromise, cooperation, withdrawal or concession.
Based on the above, it seems possible to supplement the two-dimensional Thomas-Kilman model with a third dimension - the value of interpersonal relationships (IVR). It is shown schematically in Fig. 5.2.
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